Little Human

Man, it's tough to find the time to do this. My life has gone from a year of whirlwind firsts to a never ending Groundhog Day style existence.

Kismet Ivy is rapidly approaching the half year mark and honestly I can't believe how much time has passed since her birth. I felt like it was an enormous struggle to get to the point where I could actually take a brief second to enjoy my daughter. Mostly that was because of the colic.

Ahh, the colic. It's sort of become a curse word in our house. Amazingly, THANKFULLY, the horrendous experience that was colic ended as abruptly and mysteriously as it began, pretty much exactly three months after Kiz was born. Everything we had read about the subject had promised that this would be the case, but it was hard to imagine when you're in the midst of a screaming, miserable state of affairs. The most reasonable explaination I've unearthed on the topic states that there is a missing "fourth trimester" in pregnancy; that babies actually need to gestate for 12 months rather than nine, but due to the fact that their heads would be too large to pass through mama...and let's face it, it's already a nightmare situation as far as those measurements are concerned...they have to come out at the nine month mark. Some babies deal with their early eviction well and some, like Kiz, scream and cry for three months, demanding to be put back in.

Through the colic experience, I was convinced that something was wrong with Kizzy. Autism, brain defect, sociopath...I had labeled her in so many ways that I was starting to consider filming my own version of Girl, Interupted. But amazingly, once the colic ebbed, a kid who was on a pretty good routine emerged.

The colic used to start at about 6pm. She still gets a little crabby at that time, but it's due to the fact that she's tired and bedtime arrives between 7 and 8 every night. And...holy crap...she sleeps through the night. We still have the random night where she'll wake up at 2am and want to eat, but for the most part we're getting 10 to 12 hours from her. And it keeps getting better. It seems each day she's waking up a bit later...last week she was up at five, this week it's six. I'd love it if we could make it to 7; I feel like that's an acceptable time to get up. At least daylight savings has made the sun rise a bit earlier so I don't feel like a Zombie for the first hour of my day.

As it turns out, Kizzy is a pretty happy kid. She has learned, unfortunately, and unavoidably, that yelling gets her what she wants, but we rarely have a full blown cry. The only time we get tears is when she's in pain and thankfully that's not too often, especially now that we have discovered constipation can be cured by prunes.

Her newest bad trait isn't really all that bad...stranger anxiety. Any unfamiliar person to come close to her is treated to a loud wail for a few minutes. Thankfully, she gets over that pretty quickly. Secretly, I sort of enjoy this behavior because she settles down once Dustin or I get her in our arms. We like that she loves us best.

We started "solid" foods, and so far the only thing that isn't a hit is peas. I can't say I blame her...they aren't very tasty. Bananas are the favorite, but sadly she only gets those once in a blue moon as they contribute to the dreaded constipation.

On her own, Kizzy decided she loves water. Usually water isn't started until six months or so, but we indulge her. At first because it was funny to watch her reach for the water bottle (the very first thing she reached for) and now because it helps with...you guessed it...constipation.

She's starting to be a little human...she grabs for things, pushes things away, yells in frustration, hugs her stuffed animals, imitates things and is so much more alert than she was just a month or two ago. The first time I saw something really humanesque was this past weekend. My littlest brother, Devin, likes to blow raspberries at Kiz when he sees her. He had done this approximately 100 times on Saturday. Then on Sunday morning, when Kiz saw Dev, she blew a raspberry at him and smiled. It's the little things.

The only thing I have to complain about is my own selfish need to be a big human. As much as I love Kizzy and am beyond thrilled to be a mom, it's still a tough adjustment. You always hear that being a parent is a full time job, but it's more than that. It's non stop. Every minute of my day is filled with her. She is an intense person, not really ever content to just sit and chill. Besides the never ending parade of bottles, spit up, diapers and other baby needs, Kiz needs constant entertainment. From the moment I wake up it's a race to bedtime. On the rare moment that she naps, I'm trying to keep my house from developing into an episode of hoarders. The most relaxation I get is the brief hour that falls after her bedtime and before mine. It's this hour that I treasure. Dustin and I can sit back and watch a little tv...quietly. Then before I know it I'm falling alseep on the couch and Dustin is gently waking me up to go to bed for real. Then before I know it, it's morning and it starts all over again.

Of all the things I miss before my parenthood days, I think I miss the freedom to do whatever I want on a whim. Instead of taking 45 minutes to prepare to leave the house, I fondly think of the days where Dustin and I could sleep in, go get some coffee whenever we roused, and pretty much just do whatever our hearts desired.

All that has been replaced by a higher calling...and I'm happy to do it...but if you're without kids, savor the moments you have to yourself. You'll never know how much you loved them until you're pooping and an infant is at your feet in her excersaucer, watching you and laughing.

The weather is getting warmer and my eyes are set on the prize that is Summer. Kiz should be crawling by then...and we live in a community that rests on a lake...with a private beach...and at least then I can just bring her there every day for a swim and some sun.

So there's a little glimpse into our lives at the moment. I'm off to pull the ice cream cone cupcakes I'm making out of the oven and get ready for the best hour of the day.