It's a....Girl???

You'd think with no job I'd have more time to write this blog, but either I am terrible at time management or I've been so busy I've neglected an update. And a lot has happened....

Dustin and I were very much looking forward to last Friday, which was the big 20 week gender sonogram. This is also the sonogram which checks out all of the baby's organs and whatnot to make sure its healthy and developing well. We are still in the process of switching our doctor to one up here (I'll get to that in a bit) so we had to travel to LI once again for this particular appointment.

I don't want to say I was unhappy with the way things turned out last Friday because we were given lots of good news. The baby is growing (already a pound)...my sugar levels are normal (they were worried I might develop diabetes because my initial testing was a little high...but I also accidentally ate an entire bag of reeses' peanut butter cups the night before the test so that probably had something to do with it) and all my other vitals were perfect. I've only gained 3 pounds in this pregnancy, which is actually a good thing. I'm already slightly overweight and it would be dangerous to gain a shit ton more. And by slightly I mean quite. They would have liked to see a few more pounds gained...closer to 8...but they don't seem concerned. I'm also carrying pretty well...if you didn't know what I normally looked like, I don't think you'd be able to tell I was pregnant.

The reason I was unhappy was I was really looking forward to not only getting 100 percent confirmation on the sex, but also making sure everything was developing correctly. Well, this kid is already a pain in the ass. We watched as it literally turned away from us, squirmed away from the sono tech and had its legs crossed over the "goods." We got ONE shot that the "cookie" was visible in...but even with that, we only have a 90 percent accuracy reading on the gender...which happens to be a little girl. Today I got a call from the doctor's office and they want me to go to St Charles hospital for a level 2 sonogram. I was assured that everything is fine, but that there were a few things that weren't visible, just because of the way the baby was squirming and laying. It happens sometimes. And apparently St Charles has slightly better techs and equipment. That's all well and good, but the only time they could get me in is on the 22nd, which means ANOTHER trip to LI...in the middle of Dustin's work week. Not only is it expensive to travel back and forth since gas is like a hundred dollars a gallon, but the St. Charles sonograms are EXPENSIVE. My insurance blows and the last time we were sent to St Charles (early on when we didn't know how far along we were and regular non hospital sonograms couldn't detect anything) we got HAMMERED on the bill.

So we decided we'd start looking at what our options are up here.

By some MIRACLE...I found a practice right around the corner from our apartment that accepts my New York insurance. I know, lucky, right? The practice delivers their babies at an amazing hospital...also right around the corner. This hospital (Moses Taylor if you're interested) was recently ranked one of the top in the country for maternity care.

Of course, these things are not without their catches. Because I'm so far along in the pregnancy, my medical records have to be faxed over to the new potential practice and they have to decide whether they will accept me or not. I am assuming they would not accept someone who is having a lot of complications for legal reasons. Or say someone hasn't gotten proper medical care...then God forbid something goes wrong after they switch to this new doc...and they are liable legally. These are guesses...it panicked me to think they could deny me, but if that's the case, we'll figure it out. And by figure it out I mean continue to waste money going back and forth to LI and picking an induction date and praying I don't go into labor before it. That's dicey though. Especically since towards the end of the pregnancy I think you have to see a doctor every two weeks or so. So let's all just pray that this new practice accepts me. My medical records have already been faxed.

The other potential fork in the works is my Cobra. While I am covered all the way back to May 1st, I didn't have to make the first payment until the end of June. We've been hoarding our money as we spent a shit ton just getting here...renting a moving truck...getting set up in a new place...etc. So we were waiting until we had a little cushion. The payment due on June 30 would cover all of May. Then, unfortunately, we'd owe another payment on July 1, which would cover June. So that's approximately 1500 bucks due at the end of this month. Yiiiiikes. Oh...and did I mention it's not even GOOD insurance??

We are also in the process of applying for domestic partnership benefits, but that's a crap shoot. I am PRAYING we get approved. Getting married is also an option, but as previously mentioned in a post, we have to wait for that to be a possibility. We're thinking in a month or two. Maybe more. Damn NYS and their incredibly slow legal system.

Even with all this stress, things are getting better. I know after reading that it doesn't SEEM like it, but we crunched the numbers and if we must continue to Cobra, we can. If I don't get approved up here, we'll figure it out. I can't see why they wouldn't accept me...things have been moving along perfectly in this pregnancy, knock on wood.

I had also previously mentioned that I was secretly hoping for a boy. That's true, but every time I see this kid on the sonogram (even if she did look terrifying...seriously could they work on making sonograms yield cuter results?) I realize that a healthy baby is the most important thing. Also, having had a few days to think about my future daughter, I'm excited for a few things. Little girl clothes are much more fun, for starters. My cousin Kailyn mentioned little tights...and seeing as how I have a pretty impressive collection of my own, it will be fun to have a mini me. I like the idea of Dustin having a daughter...I feel like the Daddy/daughter relationship is more special than the Daddy/son. Not only will his interactions with her determine her feelings towards men forever (just a little pressure there) I feel like men are able to be more forthcoming with their feelings with a little girl. The way I described it to Dustin was...if you have a 13 year old boy come home crying, Dad would probably be more likely to ask how many people saw him crying than to coddle him. If his 13 year old girl comes home crying, it's perfectly acceptable for him to want to hug the pain away and then destroy whoever hurt her.

Perhaps that's a little gender role specific of me but...you know what I mean with that analogy. I also think little boys are tighter with their moms, which is kind of why I was hoping for one. But this also presents me with an incredible opportunity: I have a horrible relationship with my mother. In fact, we aren't speaking and haven't through my pregnancy. At a time where she should be there for me and I should be able to share this experience with her, she isn't and I can't. I am very thankful for Dustin's mother Irene and my stepmom Deirdre, who have been an incredible support system for me. But as sad as my mom issues are, I feel like I'm being given a chance to make that right with my own daughter. I've seen what doesn't work...and I almost feel like it gives me a slight advantage when it comes to my relationship with her. Of course if you subscribe to that whole "history repeating itself" thing, I'm doomed...and honestly that was my fear in having a girl...but I'm not going to allow things to turn out like that.

In other news, yes, we have a name picked out...and I freaking LOVE IT. I've told a few people, but I don't wanna make it public yet. It's unique...I've certainly never met/heard of anyone with at least the first name...but it means so much to Dustin and I. I like names that have personal meaning to both parents. It was one of the main reasons we didn't have a boy name picked out...we just couldn't find one to top the girl name.

Things I've learned this week:

The sun/heat is not my friend any more. Serious sunburn, even though I used SPF 50 for the first time in my life. I also almost passed out on a 3 block walk to the bank on a very hot day.

My night time pees are increasing in intensity. While I've been blissfully symptom free for the most part in this pregnancy, the peeing thing has been around since like, week five. Last night I woke up every hour. Literally once an hour. I sleep like a dead person too, so I'm running a serious risk of tripping on a cat, falling on my face or going back to sleep on the toilet.

Now that the kid weighs a pound, she is starting to be noticable, especially when she's in an awkward position. She must have been curled up around my liver the other day...I could barely breathe without feeling like something was going to rupture.

Hot flashes can and will occur even when the AC is down to 60.

Cleanliness is suddenly extremely important to me. We had a lazy weekend (the trip to LI always takes a lot out of us) and we kind of made a mess in the apartment. I woke up this morning NEEDING to clean. I did not stop until everything was in its proper place. This is not like me. It's a little weird.

I challenge any one of you to a juice drinking contest. I can now drink more liquids than anyone on the planet. (explains the peeing)

Everything can now be classified in two categories: Cute and Gross. The cat is cute. The litter is gross. Our dinner spread is cute. The taste of meat is gross. The bed is made up all cute. The mascara stain on my pillow is gross. My sunburned nose is cute. My Edward Scissorhands hair is gross. And so on.

So in the next week or so we're hoping to have a new doctor, an additional sonogram and a firm answer on the gender. It's nice to have something new to worry about.