Exactly one week ago, almost to the minute, I was peeing into a trash bag inside of a uhaul that I had illegally driven onto the Cross Island Parkway.
Yes, Dustin and I have been Scrantonites for exactly one week now...and I can honestly say it's been one of the best weeks I've had in a very long time.
Ever since we found out we were pregnant, our world has been a whirlwind of stress and activity. The phrase "a baby changes everything" is completely applicable to our situation. Between family drama, THREE moves and other scary things...like not having jobs or insurance or a kitchen...we have both been on edge for way too long. And while we still don't have everything figured out, things have certainly gotten a lot better.
Dustin is on the last day of his first week of work. He likes it, the bosses like him and we've already settled into a routine. I've been scouting out job possibilities for myself, including a few radio related gigs, but it's too early to either count my chickens or comment on those endeavors, so I'll save that for another post.
While I feel terrible that Dustin had to jump from moving to unpacking to starting a new job in a matter of hours, this week has afforded me the opportunity to finally BREATHE. I still have moments of panic...specifically about money...but instead of that being ALL that occupies my mind, the stress of those thoughts has been broken up with a sort of normalcy that I needed and missed.
For example, one of my first priorities was to stock the fridge. It has been AGES since we have had our own kitchen...with a fridge and stove and microwave. We found a Wegman's that's only about five minutes away...having gone to school upstate, I was familiar with this particular grocery store. Just walking around, filling up a shopping cart and enjoying an easy conversation about what to make for our first dinner in our new place was so COMFORTING. I even went back the next day by myself just to enjoy the freedom of being able to buy things that need to be cold.
It had also been a while since we had the space to sit down at the kitchen table (that had been used as a place to stack boxes for the last few months) and eat a meal. I hadn't enjoyed a morning bowl of cereal since January. We hadn't made coffee since then either.
It's been nice to watch TV on our own couches, enjoy central air, watch storms from our window and fall asleep in our nice, clean, comfy bed. I took particular joy in throwing out the cardboard boxes that had been storing our stuff for motnhs. I felt like every time I saw them, I would get depressed. Like our stuff was homeless. Getting the last box out of the house was a huge relief.
There have been little interruptions...our baby cat, Lady, of COURSE decided she'd go into heat as soon as we were unpacked. (Yes, we will be getting her fixed; she is still too little to undergo the operation now.) So our first few nights here were a little ruined by her screaming. She's starting to calm down and we have her trained to be afraid of getting squirted with water, so a quick shake of a water bottle quiets her down for a bit. I'm pretty sure she's almost through it; she's been sleeping all day today from just sheer sexual exhaustion.
I guess when you get pregnant, you need to sort of "nest." I've never been too domestic, but lately I find that cooking and cleaning has a sort of calming influence over me. This apartment might be small but I already feel it filled with love and everywhere I look I see us holding our little baby. (Speaking of little baby, I had a dream last night that I had the kid but it was like, three inches big and I kept on losing him. Terrifying.)
One interesting thing so far has been the weather. It's EXTREMELY hot and stormy. We were under a severe tornado watch yesterday. My father and stepmom and half brother were actually en route to their place in the poconos last night (about 45 min from Scranton) and I texted them to warn them of the storm. Apparently it was one of the worst my father had ever driven through. More storms are in the forecast for tonight...it's pretty nuts. Luckily I enjoy a good storm...plus maybe it will cool off a little. Being pregnant in the heat is not going to be a good time for someone who sweats brushing their teeth in the summer when they are at their thinnest.
Dustin has been telling me for months that things are going to work out and that I have to trust him on that. I'm starting to be able to. His mom sent us some gift certificates to local restaurants so tonight we're going to check one out. I'm looking forward to having him home for a long weekend; I miss him when he's not around.
I know that in life there are setbacks and upsets, but for the first time, having been through (and still going through) what we're dealing with now, I feel much better equipped to handle those situations. I guess this was the universe's way of preparing me for motherhood, which, from what I understand, is probably the most challenging thing ever. I feel much better about facing it now.
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